Well, a few of you have asked how things are going with me and Marbles. I guess I’ve been avoiding this next newsletter because I knew it was going to be a challenge to write. I feel like I’ve undergone such drastic spiritual changes since my time in Covelo, I hardly know how to think about it coherently, much less put it down in writing.
So this letter should be interesting. I’ll give it my best shot.

Leaving L.A. …at least for now

Well… as my 3 month stint in Covelo came to an end, I came to the difficult realization that I really couldn’t afford my L.A. apartment any longer. The implications of that sort of messed with my head. For the last few years I’ve made my life there — my friends, my community, my church, my work. Not to mention I just loved that apartment and that location.

I lived in that place for over 3 years and it was a serious struggle every month, but God always provided at the last minute. I even got unexpected checks sometimes, right before the rent was due. Cool, right? That’s what I said I wanted, right? To be living on the edge, by faith.
But last fall I remember making an almost-conscious decision. “This is too stressful and I don’t want to trust God anymore. I just want stability.”

Well now, as my time in Covelo came to an end and next steps were looming, I felt him telling me, “You’re leaning too hard on this apartment. Give it up and come trust me month by month. You’ll always have food to eat, you’ll always have a place to stay, meaningful work to do and friends around you; you won’t be alone. Watch me provide one day at a time.”

If it was hard to trust him to provide for the rent, this kind of way-bigger, deeper trust seemed impossible. And yet… not. Somehow I just knew I didn’t have to worry. I would have food, a place to stay, work to do, friends around me… He would put down the tracks in front of the train. I just knew.

So in May I flew back to Burbank and Tamara and I spent the next 3 weeks packing and selling furniture and moving out. Which is, of course, a difficult process. Letting go of *stuff.*

All this time I was reading Thoreau and finishing the script. And in his book Thoreau would throw out cutesy little sayings, like — “A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to leave alone.” And I’d think, “That’s nice. That’s very inspirational-sounding and esoteric.” But only now did it really begin to penetrate on a much deeper level. What it really meant. For me. It finally registered as more than a lofty ideal or an inspiring phrase. More than a fancy principle about our relationship to material things. It’s talking about so much more than material things.

It’s talking about a way of life… a way of being. And to me, it’s talking about the kind of life the apostles lived when they threw it all to the wind and followed Jesus.

It struck me that the process of letting go of *stuff* was very similar, almost exactly the same process as letting go of a lot of other things. Like unforgiveness. Like ego. Like old wounds that have sort of crippled me emotionally for years. It was the same exact process… and the same exact feeling of “Oh crap, but I sort of want this. I might need this later.”

It staggered me how much I preferred fear, worry, loneliness over over peace, joy, love. It was like God was standing on one side offering me all things good, but I literally had to hesitate and think about whether I wanted it.

But as Tamara and I spent the Month of May packing, I watched as everything he’d promised started to unfold. Starting June 1, my cousin Jenny needed me to come shoot a video for the medical clinic she runs. “Hope Clinic” has an incredible ministry to underinsured people in rural Tennessee who can’t afford medical care. The clinic is facing some gigantic financial obstacles right now, so they needed a video to help raise money. The Fillman family, good friends of mine in Tennessee, offered to let me stay with them as long as I needed. So bada-bing. I’m here in Chattanooga with work to do. Friends to stay with. A room of my own. More delicious food than I can possibly eat (thanks Terri)!

As I was packing and getting rid of stuff, it began to dawn on me that I wasn’t actually losing anything. I would have the same exact quality of life I’d had before — the same things I’d had before — except without the fear of losing them. Everything I’d been trying to get across in “Marbles” about true wealth coming from friendship, and joy in Christ, and our own peculiar ability to effect good in the world — I was being asked to embrace in my own life. I was being asked to take seriously his words, “Do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor.”

In a new way, it started to penetrate much deeper than before — that working on a project like Hope Clinic is far more valuable to God than me getting my name in the credits of some big Hollywood movie. And that’s a difficult thing for the ego to stomach. In fact my entire being was revolting against it: This totally different way of living was backwards from everything I’d ever known, from everything my culture taught me to value.

Do I really want it?

I have to stop and consider – Do I actually want to go this deep with God? This is beyond what I signed up for. And I seriously have to hesitate.

In the silence that follows that question, my answer comes to me. It is the same answer given by the disciples in John 6.

67″You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.
68Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. 69We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”

To whom else shall I go?
So I step off the edge. I take the plunge. I say yes, help me let it all go.
Great, I’m about to lose everything.

Consequences

What do I find on the other side? The last thing I expected. Freedom.

Freedom from fear, freedom from worry, freedom from enslavement to my own ego and all its needs and drives, freedom from striving. Freedom to start being generous with my money and my time. What’s mine is yours, because someone else is providing for my needs. No need to self-protect or store up for later.

When I handed in my apartment keys, I didn’t have a single key left on my keychain. No car (it died), no apartment… no car insurance, no utility bills… just a 5×5 cube with all my stuff, and a year to hit the road and experiment in letting God provide for my life, one day at a time. And he doesn’t just provide the bare minimum. He’s exhorbitant. He provides in ways that are taylored to me, with an intimacy that just continues to amaze me. I have tons of stories I could share about that.

Where to now?

Right now I’m in Tennessee finishing up the Hope Clinic video. Rajeev and I finished the second draft of “Marbles” just before I left Burbank, so now begins the process of promoting it and trying to find funding for the feature. I pray for the opportunity to bring “Marbles” to the big screen. I dream of using the film as a platform for these types of conversations about what it means to live full, divine lives. I’m thankful God sent me through the fiery furnace to teach me what it was I was actually writing about.

After Hope Clinic ends things are still a little up in the air for me, but I have a few opportunities pending. I hope to be back in LA by next year, Lord willing.

Lest I run into you sometime in the near future and you expect me to have it all down pat — I’m barely getting used to these ideas, much less practicing them correctly. It’s a slow process, but I’m glad the journey’s begun. I feel a whole lot happier and more relaxed than I’ve been in a long, long, LONG time.

One other thing – I’m not even close to suggesting that everyone should get rid of their stuff and hit the road. And I don’t expect to be doing this forever. (In fact, I don’t even expect to be doing it for very long.) I think the real issue here is submission and trust. There were a lot of things I was trusting in for my security, other than God. He seems to be very good at removing all of those crutches, one by one. You can put just about anything before God, even simple living. But when it comes down to it there is only one master: Jesus. And one movement: Love.

As they begin to take physical shape in my life, I am blown away by the radical nature of his words: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30

Hoping this email finds you truly ALIVE,

“I know no riches I would keep back. I have no private good unless it be my peculiar ability to serve the public. This is the only individual property.” – Thoreau

No keys to the civilized world

“Where I lived, and what I lived for…”

Good morning! It’s 5:30am, and I can’t sleep. So I thought I’d better get up and do something productive. Like write a letter to ya’ll.

I’ve been up North for two months now, living in tiny, isolated Covelo, California. It is a town of about a thousand in the middle of a flat, round valley, surrounded 360 degrees by mountains. To get into and out of the valley, you have to drive a windy canyon road for about 50 minutes. The nearest Bank of America or Movie Theater is an hour and a half away! So as you can imagine, there have been few things to distract me from my script writing.

…Which is going very, very well. I am almost done outlining the 2nd draft, and will begin implementing the changes next week. I’m actually really excited about how it’s shaping up, and am aiming to be done with version 2 by the end of April.

It’s been fascinating to try out some of Thoreau’s ideas in the process. He was a huge advocate of minimizing one’s housing expenses — of living in a simpler “box” — in order to pursue one’s dreams and goals. (Not having to work for pay frees up time for your own pursuits, is the idea.)

I have to admit, it was pretty amazing to get up here, do the math, and realize my expenses had dropped by 60 or 70%. Thoreau built his cabin on Emerson’s land near Walden Pond and lived on less than $62 per year. I’m coming in around $500 per month…! (Times have changed, eh?) Our ‘cabin’ is a 33-foot trailer, so it’s tight quarters for my mom and I. But we’re making it work. And it’s been amazing to get up each morning and work on something I feel so passionately about, minus the stress of working 2 or 3 jobs on top of it.

And, it’s beautiful here! I literally get to lie in the sun in a field of yellow flowers while I work. It’s ridiculously extravagant. And it’s very restorative after a couple of extremely stressful years. I’ve craved balance for the last 8 years or so… ever since my stressed-out college days inspired “Marbles” in the first place. I would say this is the closest I’ve come to having a balanced life. I always wondered if it was possible.

I make it sound all picturesque and perfect. Truth is, it’s hard for me to be here. I do get restless and turn into a complete angst-fest (just ask my mom). Whereas Thoreau went to the woods by choice, I went kicking and screaming out of financial necessity. I’m trying to embrace contentment, which is what the script is all about. But it’s definitely a discipline, and not a warm fuzzy stuffed animal.

But anyway. It’s been an amazing journey so far. That being said, I can’t wait to get back to L.A. I miss my friends and my church… and my movie theaters.

I feel like I’m back in High School…

I’ve been working part time at the local high school to cover my (significantly reduced) expenses. That in itself has provided some rather weighty food for thought. This community, tiny as it is, has plenty of issues (drug abuse and domestic violence being at the top of the list). It’s just heartbreaking to start to understand some of the negative forces at work in these kids’ lives. My mom works at the elementary school and has 8-year olds already showing disturbing violent tendencies, who will probably end up in jail before they’re 21. It’s demoralizing because it seems like a lost cause. Hearing 7-year olds sing obscene lyrics or imitate Michael Jackson’s sexual gestures just kind of kills you inside, you know? And what can you do? A hug here, a compliment there. Try to help them feel valued and loved somehow. It’s drops in an ocean, when their home lives are so bad. This is where real Christian love can (and needs to) make a difference. But when it comes down to it, I find myself entirely inadequate to the task… sorely lacking when it comes to practicing all the fancy principles I profess. And it would take a whole army of mature, loving people to make a difference at this school.
But we pray for them each night… and do our best during the day.

My mom says we’ve created an absolute monstrosity in this generation. It is the product of broken families and marriages, distracted parents, hyper-sexualized media coursing out of every available outlet, and a greed-motivated faux-opulence disguised as the American Dream. We’ve come to call light darkness and darkness light.

It scares me. I’m coming face to face with my own powerlessness against evil in the world, and realizing only God can work the kind of redemptive miracles this society needs. That realization is probably a good place to start. But we all have our part to play… Going home and writing a script about Thoreau hardly seems like the answer right now. Yet I think it will open opportunities for ministry down the road…
So I’m trying to channel all of this into the writing.

Needs

I think we would all agree that Chris Ackerman was fantastic in the role of Thoreau, and I would absolutely love to pay him what he deserves for his work. We had a generous donor sponsor our other two union actors, but still need to raise $2100 to pay Chris. If you’d like to donate toward his payment, make checks out to Handwritten Pictures and mail them to 22830 S. Airport Rd. Covelo, CA 95428. Just memo it “Chris Ackerman fund.” If you’d like your donation to be tax-deductible, send me an email and we’ll set it up. Remember, even $10 or $20 helps a lot! And thank you so much.

Me, I need chiropractic care. Doctor says 4 times a month, but I can only afford once or twice. It’s $45 a pop; if anyone wants to sponsor that, I’d really appreciate the help.

Please continue to keep the writing process in your prayers.

With love,

“There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root.” – Thoreau

Happy New Year, everyone!

Man, it’s been a long time since I last wrote. 6 months, I think. So much has happened since then and I want to share our continued progress with you.

First draft of script finished

In the last newsletter (way back in July), we were doing a fundraising drive so I could buy some time to write the feature script. You may remember a production company called Reel Life Media had expressed interest in producing the full-length version of Marbles… but first needed to see the story on paper. Collectively, you guys (those of you who get this newsletter) contributed $1839 to the effort… and I can’t thank you enough. Marbles has been an enormous collaborative effort from the beginning and it truly couldn’t progress without your help.

And I’m happy to report that after an intense 8-week push in September and October, Rajeev Sigamoney and I finished the first draft of the script! 99 pages in all. Rajeev is a writer here in LA, best known from his comedic work on the web-series and feature film, “Jesus People.” He’s a talented writer and has brought a lot of great ideas to the table.

Heartland Film Festival

We finished the feature script just in time for the Heartland Film Festival in Indianapolis, where, I’m pleased to announce, Marbles won a major award! On October 14 they flew me to Indy to attend the fest, which was spectacular. The hospitality was over the top. The whole experience of being there and winning a Crystal Heart Award was career-inspiring, and I won’t deny the cash prize was equally helpful.

We screened at four other festivals: San Diego, Boston, La Femme, and Mosaic… winning “Best Short” at Boston.

DVDs for Sale

Professionally printed copies of the DVD are finally available on the website, for $15 apiece. My friend Scott Arany designed the covers and they look fabulous. All the proceeds go right back into supporting Marbles, paying the actors, and developing the feature… so do buy one!

What’s Next?

What’s next for Marbles? We’ve finished the first draft of the script but there are many more drafts yet to come. I’ll be leaving LA for a few months to reduce my living costs while I write. Though it’s hard to leave my friends and my church (even temporarily), I’m looking forward to having my own genuine Thoreau experience living in my Mom’s hometown in rural Northern California. I’ll be phoning home to confer with Rajeev and the guys at Reel Life Media as we make our attempt to do some justice to Thoreau’s classic work.

The Point?

Why go to such lengths, such expenditures of time, money, and energy just to make a film? At the very beginnings of the Industrial Revolution, Thoreau foresaw a society headed toward inner spiritual destruction. He saw the makings of a culture willing to work itself to death and incur massive debt in a state of continual hunger for more and bigger and better things. All at the expense of their (our) integrity, our true callings, our dreams and passions, our families, our health, our earth, our capacity to know our Maker.

If we stop and take a look around us at this current point in history, the effects of our greed are readily apparent. The story of “Marbles” is meant to challenge us to take a look inward, discover our true priorities, and live according to a different narrative. We are called not to conform to this world with its superficial forms of success, but to “march to the beat of a different drummer.”

“Men labor under a mistake,” Thoreau writes. “The better part of man is soon plowed into the soil for compost.” He continues, “I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear… I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life.”

Here’s to true wealth,
Melody

Heads up! We have a new official trailer for Marbles, edited by professional trailer editor Julia Alty.

We’ve entered 9 different film festivals so far, in cities like Los Angeles, Ojai, Birmingham, Boston, Indianapolis, Chicago, San Diego, and Austin. Now we’re waiting to find out which ones we get accepted into.

We’re excited about moving into the next phase in the process: finding distribution for the short and getting the feature script off the ground. Thanks for your donations toward that end. So far we’ve raised $2,600 toward our goal. That’s awesome; we’re about 20% of the way there with a couple months to go. Of course to every good story there’s a little drama. Here’s the thing. Without your support we won’t be able to submit a script as promised to Reel Life Media. During the time that the script is being written, this is Melody’s sole source of income and so consequently, scriptwriting can’t actually begin until all of the funding is in place.

Little bits count and little bits help. $10 or $20 from a lot of people goes a long way toward reaching this goal. We’ve come to that part of the story where every marble counts. Keep in mind your contributions are tax deductible. Would you mind passing this along to your friends and becoming a part of our team?

Donate online here: www.marbleswiththoreau.com/handwritten.html

And check out our new trailer here: www.marbleswiththoreau.com/trailer.html

With your support we’ll be able to submit a finished script to Reel Life Media and further this work of creating quality, uplifting entertainment and transforming Hollywood from the inside out.

Lennox Fleary

I’m very excited to share news about developing opportunities for Marbles. Remember Reel Life Media, the production company that facilitated our audio remix at Disney? Well, they’ve expressed some interest in producing the feature-length version of Marbles, potentially as early as next year.

Allen Taylor of Reel Life Media asked our permission to show the Short to a few people at Disney Studios. It was well received; in fact, Allen tells us there has been a fair bit of buzz. Though no commitments have been made of course, we see potential for collaboration with RLM to shoot the feature independently next year, in hopes of securing distribution further down the road.

Before we can pursue that conversation, Reel Life Media needs to see a completed version of the screenplay.

Two things need to happen. 1) We need to pay off remaining costs on the short. 2) We need to give Melody four months to write full time.

Here’s how you can help. You can make a donation directly to Reel Life Media. All proceeds go directly to pay off the short film and facilitate the feature script.

(All donations are tax-deductible)

It’s been a huge honor and amazing experience for me to work with someone of Melody’s talent and vision. I believe in this project and I’m inviting you to participate in sharing a much-needed message about what’s really important in life.

Thanks for your support!

Lennox

A Junior in college, 21 years old, I was exhausted to the core. I would spend the days in class, the evenings studying, and somehow fit a job, extracurriculars, and film projects into that equation. Social life? Relationships? Family time? Sleep? Out of the question.

It was hell. I was tired all the time. And it didn’t help to realize that I might actually enjoy the subject matter I was studying, if only I was given the chance to digest it at a proper rate. It was only when I started seeing similar signs of exhaustion in my close friends that it dawned on me: Humans–even American ones–were not intended to live in this way.

At the time, we were reading Thoreau in my “Classics in Western Thought” class. Here’s a man who threw all societal norms to the wind and went to live as a hermit in the woods for two years, just for the sake of finding out what really mattered to him in life. His book, “Walden,” inspired me so deeply that I wrote “Marbles with Thoreau” and finally–four years later–finished the film.

I remember explaining my inspiration to one one of my professors early on in pre-production. He reminded me of the hellish nature of filmmaking, the long hours, sleepless nights, and obsessed months of work. “You realize the very making of this movie will basically negate everything you set out to say in the first place.” I agreed, begrudgingly.

And he was right. It absolutely did suck every trace of balance from my life for the past year. But at the same time, I loved it. It’s what I was born to do.

I guess what I’ve learned–and if there’s anything I hope people will take away when they watch “Marbles”–it’s that we ought to find out what’s really important to us in life, and make time for that. Heaven forbid that we should waste our precious days working for bigger homes and nicer cars, at the expense of our families. Heaven forbid that I should study late into the night to get perfect straight A’s, at the expense of my friendships. Thoreau asks, “Shall we always sacrifice the present moment to the elusive, distant future, and never live for now? God himself culminates in the present moment, and will never be more divine in the lapse of all the ages.”

I know there will be times of imbalance in my life. But I’m living my passion as a filmmaker. I don’t make a lot of money, but I’ve made time in my life for the people I care about. And I consider myself among the wealthiest women in the world. I hope “Marbles” will inspire others to throw their artificial wealth to the wind in trade for something better. As Thoreau would say, “Give me the poverty that enjoys true wealth.”

Melody George

As if things weren’t already cool enough — I got to spend a day at the Disney Studios in Burbank watching Sound Designer Robert Sephton and Mixer David Fluhr re-master the audio for Marbles!

Still asking myself how all of this happened, but here’s the story.

We finished the movie on March 20, or at least we thought we did. It quickly became apparent the audio was still having issues. Tanya Musgrave and Derek Taylor, both students at Southern, had the near-impossible task of taking our messy production audio and matching it to the re-looped dialogue — no small feat. They did an incredible job, but despite all their work we realized we still needed some professional fine-tuning done. We gritted our teeth and started thinking about how to raise another $1000 to hire someone.

Along comes Reel Life Media, a Christian production company here in L.A. They watched Marbles and saw our problem. Allen Taylor (one of the founders of Reel Life, who also works at Disney) spoke with Robert Sephton and…

Long story short, on April 9 I drove down to the Disney Studios on Buena Vista St. in Burbank, went through security, and ended up on Stage A watching Robert and David remix the entire movie.

This experience for me was right up there with watching the orchestra record Brian Mann’s score. At Disney, I got to watch Marbles on a theater screen for the first time, and listen to the soundtrack on a theater sound system. Rob and David were AMAZING, and so generous in donating their entire day to get the audio up to par and create a 5.1 surround-sound mix. I’m told this process usually costs $1000 per hour, and they spent at least 10 hours, volunteering their time. Their supervisors, Gil and Jeff, allowed the use of the facility… all without costing us a cent.

At the end of the day, around 6:00pm, we watched the movie all the way through. Again it brought tears to my eyes to think how God has provided through every step of this journey. I’m amazed.

We got the audio finished just in time to premiere Marbles at the SONscreen Film Festival in Simi Valley this past weekend.

I always saw Marbles as a small stepping stone toward a much bigger future here in Hollywood. I don’t just mean a future career. I mean a life work and ministry. I believe God is calling people to come live and work in this town, to tell redemptive stories, to do quality work, and to live with integrity. It’s a massive work he’s doing and it’s fun to watch it unfold, and even to participate in it. Keep praying for us filmmakers! As you are well aware: what comes out of Hollywood has a huge influence in the world.

Looking forward to seeing what happens with Marbles next.

Thanks for all your support,
Melody George

Hey everyone,

It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? I have lots to catch you up on, but long story short… we’re mastering the movie next week!

Post production has certainly taken longer than I would have imagined. We shot the film last May, so it’s taken almost 10 months for editing, music composition, orchestration, and recording, pickup shots, ADR, sound design, and color correction to wrap up. We’re putting on the finishing touches, slapping on the credits, and mastering to DVD next week!

I want to give a shout out to Tanya Musgrave, Derek Taylor, and Bryan Fowler, who have somehow made time over the last three months to work on sound design and color correction. For a film that’s only 15 minutes long, it’s been a huge endeavor amidst plenty of other huge endeavors, and the film is all the better for their creative input and long hours of work. And I’m all the more blessed for getting to work with them.

So, the big question: How’d it turn out? I guess you’ll all have to decide that for yourselves, but I can at least tell you that it brings tears to my eyes almost every time I watch it, as I remember all of the miraculous things that happened to create such a beautiful piece of art.

I look back over the whole process… spending that week early in 2008 wrestling in prayer to discern if this was really something God was calling us to do. Buying plane tickets to Tennessee on faith when we didn’t yet have the full budget in hand. Watching the money come in at the last minute, when we were already in Tennessee getting ready to shoot. Knowing it was forecast to rain throughout the week, and then watching the weather be perfectly taylored to whatever scene we were shooting. Getting to experience Brian Mann’s incredible score being recorded in Houston with full orchestra… something which should have cost us, we’ve estimated, more than $50,000. The bill came to $1200.

To me, these are examples of God’s miraculous provision, of his ability and willingness to multiply the loaves and fishes, if we will but seek his will and work for his glory.

Why he chose to bless this project in such a way, I have yet to understand. What his full purpose is for it, I have yet to know. But pray with me for opportunities to share both the message of the film and the story of its making.

What happens now?

Nathan Nazario and Rik Swartzwelder put together a list of festivals for us to enter, so we’ll be hitting the festival circuit starting in April. We’re also pursuing distribution through academic suppliers so Marbles can be used as a teaching aid in schools. So the work definitely isn’t over yet. Press kits and graphic design and entry applications and marketing yet to come.

How can you see it?

That’s a good question. I’m not totally sure yet. We’ll be screening it at the Sonscreen Film Festival this April in Simi Valley, so come to the festival if you can! Beyond that, I’ll keep you posted when we’ve found a distributor.

Alright, ya’ll. Back to work for me.

Many blessings,
Melody

“Oh Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.”